Thursday, 3 January 2008

My name's Ron and I'm an alky


I am of few principles but I try and take as little information as possible from The Evil Empire as run by Mr Rupert Murdoch. Just before Christmas I followed a link to an article in The Times however that had me twitching. Some Phil Space decided to spend a month exceeding the government 'guidelines' on units of alcohol per day. Obviously he had the time of his life, being a lightweight. At the end of the article are the 20 questions to determine whether you are an alky or not. If you answer yes to one, you may be an alky; if you answer yes to two you could well be an alky; if you answer yes to three then you are almost certainly an alky. Well, I answered yes to 14.
Then I saw where the questionnaire came from (obviously the USA) but this made me feel much, much better: The Recovered Alcoholic Clergy Association, Baltimore
Pass me the bottle Mabel, I've got a hell of a thirst on.
For what it's worth, you can read the article here

19 comments:

cindy incidentally said...

Ron, is that your knob on the breadboard?

Ron Combo said...

I should lay off stuff like that, or you might give Squire Ashley an embolism.

Peter Ashley said...

What's an embolism then? Is it when you wear too many badges on your school blazer? And Cindy, don't encourage Ron, otherwise we'll have shots of all sorts of salamis and wild boar sausages popping up.

A F-A said...

Ah, those days of yore; when you and I could sit in El Vino, drink 16 pints of Old Wombat each and still have enough money left to crawl home on all fours. (http://freedagain.blogspot.com/)

Diplomat said...

Blimey - Ron that's an interesting article from thr Times but frankly he must have been trying very hard ! I think the challenge here would be to try and stay below, say, 100 a week for a month and then write it up.

cindy incidentally said...

Yeah,it could end up like 'Carry on blogging" Oooh missus.
In that genre we saw Frankie Howard at the Liverpool Playhouse in 1992, not long before he died. He was hilarious. He only had to walk on stage and hadn;t said anything and he had me crying laughing, well infact everybody. Later in the act he made a joke about and English, Irishman etc and some 'right on' bore had to make an issue of it. Thankfuly the audience shut them up. What were they doing there anyway? Ain't y' sick of 'em??

Ron Combo said...

Alois, you are a living legend. Welcome back to the land of the f***ed up. We've missed you. as have your many wives.

Ron Combo said...

Cindy,
before I die (which may not be far orf, the way that I am going at it) I want to go to a Ken Dodd evening. Is that still allowed?

Peter Ashley said...

Ron: What's with asterisks instead of letters in your foul-mouthed utterances? Eh? You at the back there!

Ron Combo said...

I know but I was trying to aim for a family audience. Sorry.

cindy incidentally said...

Doddie is alive and kicking. His nights are legendary , they go on till about 1 a,m.He's on very shortly, but Ron this would involve getting your ample backside over here.
When he was on trial in Liverpool, bad mistake from the Crown's point of queing up. He had George Carman( wise choice) who was himself a showman. The Crown had a poe faced ,up himself arse.. When he sarcastically asked Doddie what the post office woman would say when he took large amounts of cash in he replied,in his shrill voice,"Morning Doddie"
The house came down and was found Not Guilty,
of course.
Tatti bye everyone, Tatti bye

Peter Ashley said...

I saw Doddie at the Richmond Theatre, and they couldn't get him off. He said that he knew there was going to be an Iraq war because he'd driven past Vera Lynn's house and heard her gargling. He offered, quite genuinely, to carry on with the show out on the car park. We won't see the likes of him again, sadly.

cindy incidentally said...

insert....
...had people queing (or however you spell it)
..Crown's pont of view.
I really should read over before sending

cindy incidentally said...

Brilliant, just brilliant. Yes, he's the last of a generation. They'l line the streets of Liverpol when he goes.

Justin Savage said...

Ken Dodd will be performing in Leamington Spa on Feb 20th and 21st. I've just booked two tickets, one for me and one for one of my imaginary friends. Go to 'Ken Dodd Tour Dates' and follow the links. It was selling fast. Big piece in today's Telegraph Review section. Sorry Cindy, not to venture further north to see him on his home turf, but us London folk go all peculiar if we stray too far from the capital.

cindy incidentally said...

You Southern jessies are peculiar, i agree. Actually, he's had to cancel a few dates owing to ill health. 'd check your booking if i were you. Why don't you take peter with you?

Peter Ashley said...

Justin knows what happens if he has a night out with me.

Justin Savage said...

Besides, Peter's a long way from 'imaginary'. When the agency (0800-MATES: We Make Friends So You Don't Have To) sent him along all those years ago, neither of us could have foreseen we'd still be talking nonsense into the small hours over a bottle of Jura and some stale cheese in late 2007.

Peter Ashley said...

Jura. That was it. I need to have a word with you about that. Anyway, I've just been for my 30,000 mile haircut service, and now look like Grant Mitchell crossed with Magwitch. And my ears look like two enormous jug handles. I had to go into the Red Cow in Market Harborough for a couple of hours.