Saturday, 15 September 2007

Yours for €1,500!




I saw this pretty little tractor ages ago, so I stopped and asked the genetically criminal smallholder who was melting down stolen copper in his yard whether it was for sale. Hearing my foreign accent, he brightened up considerably, sucked one of his few remaining teeth for about 30 seconds whilst looking up at the sky and wondering how much he might be able to fleece me for. "We've 'ad 'er since new" he equivalented in Italian, "and 'er be one o' the family. But......she's yours for one thousand and a 'alf" Unsurprisingly, it's still there, by the road, lonelier than ever. Any takers?

8 comments:

Diplomat said...

Very wise of you not to mention his wife's lover rolled up in the carpet ready to be towed out to pasture.

Toby said...

It's got my name on it.............

Dickie Threapleton-Withers said...

Ron! Dickie here. Tractors, goodness me whatever next. Sure it's there but can't see the bar. Tractors all very well but turn to you for drinking tales. The other chap with the jeep seems to have things covered vehicularly speaking. I'm off now. Time for a livener. Best ever. D

Pomelato said...

Clearly Italians like him are source of all mygrappahell drink problems...ever been offered a chicken shed as a bijou residence worth 100,000 euros 'with a little work'? or is it just cos I look dumb/english/female/fond of wine?

Ron Combo said...

Dickie, you really should control your drinking. If you would be good enough to read the first pitiful entry in this rather self-indulgent exercise you will see that I did say there might be the odd reference to tractors. But don't worry, I'll be back on the booze trail soon.

Peter Ashley said...

Diplomat's comment is spot
on.Carpets that are not laid out in rooms, but rolled-up as in Ron's photograph, have by default either to contain a nubile present from an eastern potentate or a corpse with its hands tied together with washing line.

Toby said...

Peter. Washing line? Now you're getting me going. Wire cored or that stuff you get from Wilco's that is 100% white plastic? yours, reaching for the cling film, Toby

Peter Ashley said...

Toby. I was thinking of that stuff that looks like rope and is usually only to be found in an off-grey shade. Alternatively one could use orange baler twine, of which there is an abundance round here, most of it used for extra-agricultural purposes. I can tell you.