Saturday, 31 May 2008

Down to the Badlands


Down to Bruno's the other evening to help celebrate his son's 26th birthday (hence the bottle above, one of several). Half way through a delicious dinner Bruno suddenly took me to one side and told me "Sunday we're flying down to Vibo Valentia in Calabria for a wedding where you, me and Giulio are singing Ave Maria by Arcadelt." "But Bruno," I ventured, "Vibo Valentia....Calabria.... it's serious Mafia country. It's the 'Ndrangheta. They make the Taliban look like Budleigh Salterton W.I." "We'll be untouchable; I've testified at two of the bride's father's trials. They're very welcoming. Trust me. Tomorrow you have to pay for your ticket, it's 300 euros." "300 euros?" I squeaked, "you can fly to New York and back for that! Mrs Combo will kill me! We're brassic!" "Stop complaining" he replied severely, "some things are more important than money. I'll pick you up at eight on Sunday morning. We'll practice the piece on the plane".

What could possibly go wrong?

13 comments:

Toby Savage said...

It'll be the opening scene from the Godfather. I can hear the music now. Just agree with everything said. You'll be fine!

Peter Ashley said...

Bye Ron.

Toby Savage said...

Di do Ron Ron Ron, Di Do Ron Ron.

Peter Ashley said...

I just love how we all gather our comforting arms around Ron in order to support him in his hour of need. And wasn't Combo one of the Mafia prosecutors found in the boot of a Lancia in a Palermo back street?

Diplomat said...

"Fear & Loathing in Clabria" - Ron's last, and possibly darkest, reflective on life amongst the tomatoes for a Limey. It is as though Mr Combo knew there was simply no way back, as he penned those chilling words, his periferal vision restricting and squeezing his concious world to a deminishing dot of light in the middle of the screen - peace at last, rest for the weary concience.............

A F-A said...

'bye Ron.....although I do have something that might prevent the inevitable. Have you heard of a thing called a 'Wombat'? I might be able to lay my hands on one....or possibly several hundred if you have friends in a similar situation.

Peter Ashley said...

I've got some cotton wool you can pad your cheeks out with.

Fred Fibonacci said...

I wonder if the stickers are still on the furniture from the last time? I always fancied that pine sideboard/dresser thing.

It's now Tuesday; we've heard nothing. Ties everyone, ties!

Diplomat said...

Ron been in ?

Fred Fibonacci said...

I have it on the peerless authority of Mrs Combo herself that Ron is both alive and well and back from Calabria. Looks like a longer wait for that dresser then.

Diplomat said...

.... jolted from his sinister dream and dark toughts by the roar of the Rolls Royce Trent engines on reverse thrust, Ron studied the view from the 'plane window as the captain made his way off the runway at the first exit and headed for the Alitalia skyway. Home - oh to feel the cold Northern tarmac under his feet and smell the chill air - got away with it this time ...... time for a beer.

Thud said...

sod the mafia..how was the Barbaresco?

Ron Combo said...

Thud, the Barbaresco was way gone, oxidised I think is the word. We drank it all the same of course.