Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Pile it High!

Well, how could I say no? I have always been a disciple of the Kingsley Amis School of Boozing, which invariably lauded quantity over quality. This remarkable offer of 1.5 litres of Tetrapaked white wine for 79c (around .66p at today's exchange rate) at a local Lidl, plumbed happy new depths in my unremitting quest for rank bevy.
This is the cheapest wine I have ever come across, and believe me I have scoured northern Italy. Goodness knows what Vinogirl will have to say about this. The packaging gives away as little information as possible, as you might imagine. Its 11%, its Italian and packaged near Verona.
I reckon this is the genuine EU wine lake number that you lot have massively subsidised with your taxes, so thank you all very much. It is clearly undrinkable, although maybe after the seventh or eighth plastic beaker you're probably past caring if you're with your horribly-stained mates on the park bench. Which is where I will be in February, knocking this back, when the dark clouds of abstention have lifted and I am back in the sunlit uplands, squeaking and dribbling with childish joy.

9 comments:

Fred Fibonacci said...

Nice post Ron. All the great Combo hallmarks; it's about booze, longing and a bit of tacky packaging thrown in for good measure. Who could ask for more? (Well, another Timothy Taylor's Landlord and a large malt wouldn't go amiss, since you ask.)

A F-A said...

Hah! I now want to hear Vinogirl's comments on Fred Franzia's "Two Buck Chuck" wines! There needs to be a taste-off between these two Brands!

Peter Ashley said...

I weep with joy at the sheer unpretentiousness of the packaging: BOOZE!, CHEAP! PISSED!

Incidentally, (that's a point- where's Cindy?), I think I might have been the first person to design an airline booze pack, the forerunner of the wine box. But I shouldn't think there's anyone either alive, or who cares, to corroborate it. I put 'Airline Pack' on the side underlined with two orange stripes, and I think they put 'red' or 'white' on with a rubber stamp.

Thud said...

On her trips to England I know Vinogirl likes to collect cheap nasty plastic bottles of plonk to ambush people with...she may actually secretly like this stuff!Mind you even as a teenager she had expensive wine tastes.

Lord Roby said...

Did you get money back on the carton?

Lord Roby said...

Can we have before and after pics..Of you, not the carton!! Some gaffa tape over your bloodshot eyes will spare your blushes.Dr Sir Les Patterson sends his regards...with me?

Vinogirl said...

Wow...I'm doing the maths, and that's even cheaper than 'Two Buck Chuck'. A magnum of white wine for about a dollar, can't beat that. Tetrapacks are becoming quite popular over here too, but I must admit I haven't tried any wine from one. What you all must know about Vinogirl though, is that she is defo no wine snob. I am a firm believer in drinking what you like. Wine snobs are insufferable. Someone actually 'brown-bagged' me with an aforementioned 'Chuck' Chardonnay this summer. I guessed the varietal, could tell it was mass produced, (can we say million gallon stainless steel tanks?), but never would have guessed the cost...and d'ya know what? It was very drinkable. After a couple of glasses of my fave SB or PG, it would have been quite acceptable...and I don't usually bother with Chardonnay. So Ron, I'd drink your white wine, may be after a good Soave, but I'd give it a bash none the less. Great post!
Oh and Thud...you fell for the "I'm going to try this plastic bottle of Sainsbury's Cabernet sauvignon on some California sucker" routine...hic!

Philip Wilkinson said...

Blimey. Mrs W has long scoured the aisles of Lidl in search of bargains, but we've never tried the wine – must look out and see if Gloucestershire's Lidl has anything comparable.

Peter: The packaging is indeed in a class of its own. And the brand names. Anyone for Frotto?!

Peter Ashley said...

The last time I heard the name Frotto, Phil, was in Penthouse Forum. About 1978, I hasten to add.