Seven days have nearly passed since the last drop of alcohol passed my lips and I cannot tell you how much I have enjoyed this week. The standard off-the-sauce background headache had gone by about Wednesday and I now sleep like a baby. I nearly stumbled twice; the first time on Friday afternoon when I started teaching a new class and I realised that the majority of the parents of the assembled obnoxious brats were at least 10 years younger than I am. And then again last night at a demanding dinner at Giulio the Singer's home with his extremely well-stocked wine cellar, but my Faith kept me strong. O Ye of trifling belief! Turn from your Sinful Ways!
20 comments:
As I get more ancient, I too sleep like a baby. I have found that Extra Large Pampers solve the problem. What do you use?
Revamp Ron? Are we, perhaps, re-positioning the site prior to the big sell out to News International? Or is this just a side effect of sobriety? I think the readers have a right to know.
Got sod-all else to do.
ron - does your rather dainty double-decker cake platter have a tasteless chrome handle ?
You could always fill your day looking at 'K'Nex Roller Coasters' on YouTube. Like I do.
What cake stand? And are we all absolutely sure that the clear plastic bottles aren't actually full of some neat spirit, a ghastly Piedmont by-product distilled from spaghetti or something?
Wood-alcohol, straight from the bark.
Anyway, never mind about all that, where's Cindy?
Yo Ron! Julian here. I've been for a swim over the road in my luxury, members-only, gymn. Don't take out the commas. Now I'm back in my luxury, members-etc. flat where I'm cooking up some risotto much too late at night BUT accompanied by a few bottles of 6.5% proof Leffe Belgian beer. It's the business.
PS I've got a new radio and it's digital. If you tune in to 'Oneword', which has folded, you get birdsong. Fantastic. Now, where's the Leffe got to.
I did a programme called Between the Lines for One Word last month, and when I'd finished the interviewer ran off down Euston Road. Now I know why. Oddly, Justin, I had a big bottle of Leffe tonight too.
Meanwhile Ron sits patiently in front of his little shrine; a shrine made up entirely of old bottle tops, beer mats and karaoke dance-cards, counting down the days to his next drink, a lonely and bitter man. Or was it a light and bitter man? I can never remember. Ooh look! There's another bottle at the back of the frig.
Leffe eh - the fake tan man had been drinking Leffe at lunchtime. Justin, I'm glad you like the Leffe, you really need to try it from the tap in those rather dubious looking glasses, a tad of condensation etc etc - very good for you.
No no, you buy it in a litre bottle that's got a wire thingy like champagne holding a cork in. Somerfield's in Uppingham do them. Then you whack it in the fridge for a couple of hours and then do it over the next couple of hours with a multipack of Mini Cheddars.
Mini Cheddars! Hadn't thought of that. Perfect. I get interesting roasted almonds from the Syrians at the other end of my luxury apartment block in the heart of London's Hammersmith Quarter. They're terrific but very, very salty. The nuts are quite nice too.
You lot seem to be enjoying yourselves with your filthy booze-sodden infidel ways. Keep it up. Only two weeks and one day to go.
Two weeks and one day?
Will someone fly out and shoot me? I'll pay for the ticket.
PS FAO Squire Ashley. If you can make a litre of Leffe last two hours, I'm a Dutchman.
All the best,
Jan de Groot
I found a 660cl bottle of Peroni in my fridge at the office today - what's the use of that ?
None whatsoever. The English translation of Peroni is Europiss.
Jenlain....don't see that in England so often these days. Or am I mixing that up with Guerlain? I think they may taste similar.
Ron, I managed to make the Leffe last two hours because for half an hour I was paying a great deal of attention to Carla on Coronation Street. And setting fire to the kitchen (something you know all about) whilst grilling a pair of Welsh lamb cutlets.
And have you all noticed how everyone's very skilfully avoided getting involved in Alois's request to start a discussion on disposable nightwear?
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