I made it all up. I'm sorry, but I've been trying to give myself some self-worth after some hideous weekends of alcoholic excess, capped off by a virtuoso performance at The Pig Party in a local village on Saturday evening/night/Sunday morning.
There I've come out. From now on, no more fabricated stories, no more wild flings of fantasy.
This is the real truth. A plastic crate of assorted veggies for a local restaurant. Total income: €11.40. I feel better already. Maybe a snifter would be in order? I mean, it's nearly time for luncheon.
* Exactly what I thought. Why on earth would she speak in English with a stereotypical cod Italian accent? Beats me.
6 comments:
Looks delicious Ron. I've had my first two courgettes up here in the frozen north of Europe. Not a bean in sight yet, but I live in hope for next week. Plants look good.
A fair sized crop.
Another spoof! I know for a fact you are Whole Foods Market's main supplier. But don't be ashamed of success Ron - we know it won't change you, and we won't all write you begging letters!
ps: any chance of a tenner?
Please can I have those scales when you've done with them? Unless they're in kilos or whatever it is.
Speaking faultless English with a stereotypical cod Italian accent is exactly what I shall be doing on arrival in Rimini tomorrow. I shall keep it up for three days or so before assuming the identity of a cheerless Bavarian to put everyone at their ease.
Your veg looks a bit wilted, and I imagine it is covered in a fine, grey grit. I don't know why, but I do.
The grey grit is from the local cement factory, just over the hill. Trust you to blow the whistle, Clarissa (that nearly rhymed!). God I'm pissed.
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