It's That Time!

Happy Christmas!

What's this then?

A funny fruit. Funny peculiar rather than funny ha-ha of course. Matures in November and has a very sweet gloopy orange pulp that is nice to eat but some white-ish pith that are very bitter. Very popular with birds hereabouts when there's not much else to feed on. The branches are very delicate and break easily. A special Combo prize to the first reader to give the correct name. Maybe I should change the name of this nonsense blog to Unmitigated Italy.

Hen Night

I bought a hen from a local peasant (paid way over the odds of course) and it came with all its bits and pieces. Inserting my hand you-know-where I found that apart from its guts there was also an egg which I had for brekker next day with brown bread soldiers and lots of butter. I boiled  the fowl with carrots, a stick of celery and an onion and it was eaten with a fruit mustard. The wine was the deliciously drinkable Cabernet Franc from Smooth Tony. Yum yum pig's bum.

Le Marche and Rome

The dog-eat-dog cut and thrust of the Combo empire-building programme continues apace and necessitated a trip to Urbino in Le Marche and then The Eternal City. Urbino is a predictably exquisite hilltop town near the Adriatic coast, virtually untouched since Dante sharpened his quill.
How about this for a bar?
And then I snuck in here for a couple.
The local white wine is called Verdicchio and there are two sub-classifications, Castelli dei Jesi and Matelica which are effectively two different regions. Expressing an interest in the difference between the wines, the charming owner gave me an unexpected BOGOF so I got four glasses for the price of two. Plus stuffing my face with all the usual delicious aperitivi that crowded the bar counter. I spent €6. Imagine an Italian going into a pub in, say, Godalming and asking about the difference between London Pride. and Taylor's Landlord. Two free pints? Your 'avin a larf, intcher? (I'm sure they don't speak like that in Godalming by the way.)

Then it was on to Rome the next day. Business finished I spent ten minutes rubbernecking outside the Italian parliament waiting for that week's government to collapse. There was this police car outside. Neat or what? Note the completely superfluous two blue lights on the roof.

The Gentleman's Relish

Rummaging around in the larder for some nibbles the other day, I found tucked away at the back the above, a present from Lord Unmitigated, part of a washed-up expat food parcel he kindly sent over yonks ago. The Marmite, PG Tips, decent Cheddar and bottles of ale went the way of all good things almost immediately of course but somehow this slipped through the net. Always thought the best before dates on food labels are a con. This tasted absolutely delicious on hot brown toast. Thank you old chum. All washed down with a big mug of PG Tips, of course!

A Damp Winterish Wedding...

...but none the worse for that!
One of Mrs Combo's cousins, like many thrusting young Italians, works on a cruise ship. He dropped on with a Peruvian waitress so decided to make it legal at a remote 1960s church hereabouts. With typical Italian disregard for the finer points of spirituality the church builders couldn't be bothered to put in a ring of bells so they made do with a nice pair of loudspeakers that broadcast on a loop tape a supremely tinny recording of two clanking bells:
It is also an Italian tradition to use rice as confetti and also to wish the couple good luck as they leave the church. Unfortunately English txtspk would now seem to be de rigeur
The food at the wedding breakfast was excellent....

...as was the grip quality of the lavatory paper used for the bridal hearse.

Mellow Fruitfulness blah blah..

I managed to snap this just before it started raining three days ago. It is still raining. Copiously. General stuff is now starting to be carried down the hill. A small river is running through the cellar and a prodigious hole has appeared in the woodshed roof. A drink must be in order, that'll make it all better.